Lisa’s Story

Lisa’s Story

Lisa is a single mum to Kasha, aged 15 and to 5-year-old Hari. Lisa and her partner, Jane, separated 10 months ago and Kasha lives in a flat with Jane, 2 miles from Lisa and Hari, visiting regularly. Lisa came for therapy concerned about Kasha’s volatile and unpredictable behaviour and the effect of this on both her and on Hari. Lisa and Kasha had been working at improving their relationship but Lisa came to her therapy session this week with a story to tell about events at home and her responses to them, which she agreed could be shared as a way of potentially helping others in a similar position.

read more
A review of SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) Workshop by Dr Eli Lebowitz

A review of SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) Workshop by Dr Eli Lebowitz

There has been an increase in childhood anxieties and the paralysing effects it has had on our children and young people’s transition towards independence as well as the experiences of loss and being trapped by siblings and parents. Outside witnesses such as school, neighbours, family, and friends watch on not being able to know how to help. It is because of this increasing phenomenon that the SPACE training was organised and hosted by PartnershipProjects and indeed the sellout of all places on the training was indicative of the need and demand for practitioners and parents alike.

read more
Review of the 7th International NVR Conference, 18-20 May 2023

Review of the 7th International NVR Conference, 18-20 May 2023

‘The wisdom of presence and NVR – building bridges in uncertain times’
With contributions from Jill Lubienski, Julie Oates, Jackie Lindeck and Rosalind McCormick
The 7th International NVR Conference was the first opportunity since 2018 for the worldwide NVR community to congregate in person and, over 3 days, to share the personal connection, the vibrancy of our ideas and also our worries for the very difficult problems facing us in a world where conflict, war and division are so prevalent. Around 300 delegates and speakers arrived in Osnabruck from the UK, Netherlands, Germany, Belgium, Austria, Ukraine, Russia, New Zealand, Australia and Canada.  We also benefited from the technology available to Osnabruck University of Applied Sciences to offer the conference in a ‘hybrid’ form, and so were joined for keynote presentations and some workshops, by colleagues online from all over the world. A truly international gathering of people concerned to think about peaceful, caring, connecting dialogue and practices, even when alliance building may seem like an insurmountable task. 

read more
“It’s all in a mango” – NVR and Eating Disorders

“It’s all in a mango” – NVR and Eating Disorders

Every year without fail my uncle sends packages of mangoes from our farm in a rural village in India and with anticipation, we look forward to enjoying their juicy delights as part of a family ritual. There is a tradition to how they are eaten and passed down through the generations. The maternal head of the household- usually the mother slices them all, arranged on a plate, and is the one that eats the middle pulp section- is often seen as the least favourable but is often secretly the most delicious and messy !! My daughter recently said to me as she was waiting for her slices, “ Mum why do you always have the middle bit”- to which I exclaimed “It remains one of the few places where I have some authority” and we laughed.

read more
NVR in an SEMH special school: the ultimate show of adult presence

NVR in an SEMH special school: the ultimate show of adult presence

In the spring and summer terms of 2022 I ran an NVR programme for a new SEMH (Social, Emotional and Mental Health) special school in the area where I work as an Educational Psychologist and Systemic Family Therapist.  The funding for this was from the COVID Recovery fund. I ran this programme with two colleagues, one of whom joined me for the parent / carer group and the other with whom I co-facilitated the school staff group, who met separately. Most staff sessions were in person, but some sessions had to be carried out online due to COVID 19. The parent sessions were run online exclusively from the beginning. The school had opened in 2020 during the pandemic and staff turnover was high

In this blog post I describe my learning from the NVR school staff group.

read more
From Control to Conscious Parenting

From Control to Conscious Parenting

Among NVR’s life-affirming philosophy and principles, its focus on parents as a valuable resource invites embattled parents to invest in themselves. For those who have been dismissed and abused by their children, blamed by agencies and harsh on their own perceived failings, this is a gamechanger. It gives permission for acts of care and kindness for themselves and others, invites mindfulness, grounding and compassion. It gives the right and power to choose what you say and do, how you speak to yourself and how you invite others to help your family. For parents living with multi-generational deprivation and violence, with no sense of personal power, the idea that their effectiveness depends on their own strength and wellbeing, rather than control, is revolutionary – and a little counter-cultural.

read more
Supporting Parents of Children with Learning Disabilities using NVR: A Journey of Parental Legitimacy

Supporting Parents of Children with Learning Disabilities using NVR: A Journey of Parental Legitimacy

I have had the pleasure of working with individuals with learning disabilities, both in adult and child settings, for 20 years.  Across all roles, I have worked with parents, and an interest in all things parenting started to develop, an interest that peaked when I became a parent for the first time.  I have also naturally found myself holding a position of resistance across roles: holding the needs of people with learning disabilities (and their families) in the minds of others at an individual level and at a service level and opening different perspectives in understanding psychological distress by taking a trauma-informed approach, especially understanding behaviour as a form of communication.  I have always valued the role of the therapeutic relationship, taking a playful and measured pace in my work, but noticed an internal conflict with external drivers to ‘do’ and ‘improve’ an individual’s circumstances, for example, through ‘goal-based outcomes’ within the context of a therapeutic model. 

read more
Our Unity is Our Strength

Our Unity is Our Strength

As part of my NVR accreditation, I reflected on my own NVR journey, both personally and professionally as a mum to four children working within a context of a Specialist Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) and a Children’s inpatient unit. The journey brought forth ideas of unity demonstrating how together we can make a difference.

Unity is illustrated when I witness birds embark on their journey to a warmer destination, they take flight and form a V-shape flying pattern, the formation creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. When a bird falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the resistance of trying to go it alone — and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front. When the lead bird gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another bird flies up front. There is encouragement from behind for those at the front to maintain their momentum.

read more
NVR is “the only way”

NVR is “the only way”

I have recently completed my NVR Accreditation Module through PartnershipProjects. My journey in NVR started 7 years ago, I can honestly say that this process has changed my view of communication and my ethos of life.  I am confident to shout from the rooftops what I have learnt through my NVR training. I have learnt we can work in co-creative ways to form positive relationships and treat others with unconditional positive regard, even when that means resisting outside agencies / organisations / influences.  As part of my journey to get to this stage in my learning, I found that NVR is “the only way”.

I work in a therapeutic environment supporting young people who have experienced many challenges in their lives, where their voices will not have been heard or valued. My presentation focussed on a young person who came from an abusive and neglectful background which unfortunately resulted in her being in a secure hospital before joining Anderida Adolescent Care.

read more
Unconditional Love – When Under Conditions

Unconditional Love – When Under Conditions

For the past 3 years, I have been using NVR in my work with individual families and in groups within my CAMH’s role. I am currently completing the PartnershipProjects Accreditation Module as my final stage of training in NVR.  I knew this would be an enriching experience to discover how other practitioners applied and utilised NVR as an approach. 

The title for my blog post is “unconditional love”. This subject brought about many considerations at one of the early sessions of an NVR parent group. In the group, I described the stance of unconditional love as a cornerstone of NVR. I became very aware of the possible impact of my words on one of the parents. She was a foster mother who I had met just once before. I felt concerned that the words, “I am here, you cannot get rid of me, I am your parent, I will always be here, I love you”, might not resonate with her lived reality.

read more

TESTIMONIALS

Saying thank you just doesn’t seem enough

Firstly, I just wanted to put in an email what I said today. Saying thank you just doesn’t seem enough. I don’t know if you will ever understand just how much you have helped and

from an NVR Mum

Incredibly useful

It has all been incredibly useful and very interesting. I was apprehensive about it being on zoom for three days – but it hasn’t affected the quality of training at

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Excellent Training

Gentle reflective pace, warmth, humanity and humility of presenters. Clear but not prescriptive explanation of the model. Excellent training. Thankyou. I just want my whole team to do the training

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

I enjoyed all of it

To be honest all of it. I like the structure in terms of setting up a routine for breaks and lunch and the interactive style, especially getting to practice aspects such as silence, sit-ins, etc.

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

I really liked

Hearing clinical examples of how the techniques had been applied with parents the facilitators had worked with, including examples where it had been more tricky or difficult, or taken more time for the parent to

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

I really liked

I liked the pairs/ threes break out groups rather than always a bigger break out group. I liked the time taken to explain the principles and values of the

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

It was well paced and inclusive.

It was well paced and inclusive. trainers were very knowledgeable and experienced and had a warm approach. First time i have felt comfortable doing a role

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

I really enjoyed

I really enjoyed this training and i feel i will be able to share my knowledge

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Loved the three days

Loved the three days. The pace was fantastic and so well pitched. Excellent, knowledgeable and engaging trainers. Plenty of tools added to my practice

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Thank you very much

Thank you very much, I very much would like to proceed with the course programme and different trainings offered

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

The trainers were really knowledgeable and engaging

The trainers were really knowledgeable and engaging. Had personal and professional experience that was really helpful. Although the role play and break out rooms felt a bit awkward at first the trainers allowed relationships and

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Useful and informative

Thank you very much. A really useful and informative training. Definitely lots I can take away to use in my practice, and the experiential tasks have made me feel more confident in doing

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Really enjoyed

I have really enjoyed the course and I have learned so much from others on the course. The tutors were knowledgable , friendly and I look forward to more

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Amazing

I think it has been amazing and I can’t wait to put it into

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Really enjoyed

Really enjoyed the three days and excited about trying some NVR

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

A brilliant two days!

Participant, Advanced Level NVR Training

Rachael, Jackie and Michele are all brilliant practitioners

This is a really good group. It has such an impact on the quality of the learning and I fell very lucky to be with such open, friendly, generous people. Rachael, Jackie and Michele are

Participant, Advanced Level NVR Training

Incredible and stood out

I found that this training was so incredible and stood out as having the capacity to make the learning accessible to all different type of learning styles, giving people the opportunity to read, to practice,

Participant, Advanced Level NVR Training

Many thanks again for the course

I have felt much more relaxed in my parenting and feel like I am slowly able to find again that sense of being the mum I would like to be. That is precious to

Leeds Parent, Online Parent Seminar Participant

It was fantastic – the best training I’ve been on.

Trainers were knowledgeable and the ability to help us think reflectively was fantastic. So relevant. Well delivered. I’ve never done role play in such a connective way.

Training Participant - Foundation Level
Leeds 2020

What an incredible few days together.

“What an incredible few days together – it was such a privilege listening to the inspirational presentations from everyone. It was wonderful to spend time together immersed in NVR

Ruth Eden, Family and Systemic Psychotherapist.
Warwickshire County Council

“I never fail to be amazed with the inspiration and motivation gained on PartnershipProjects courses.

“I never fail to be amazed with the inspiration and motivation gained on PartnershipProjects courses. Thank you for sharing ideas and passion with me and for inspiring me continuously”.

Kim Higgins
Team Manager Warwickshire County Council

I am the go to NVR worker due to this comprehensive training program

Oliver Nash
; Family Worker; Family Solutions; Essex County Council

Your training style was very engaging, and you had a lot of patience with the group.

Hi, this is Caroline from the training. Wanted to feedback that it was fantastic training, I feel inspired to change my own parenting as well as empowering other adoptive parents to develop their own NV

Caroline Stirk - Adoption Social Worker

The course was brilliant

The course was brilliant thank you – we all absolutely love it, learnt so much and have come back to work feeling all inspired! Best

Ruth Eden
Family & Systemic Psychotherapist

Anonymous, Netherlands

I wanted to thank you for the two days of training in the

Anonymous
Netherlands

Really enjoyed the training. Its something that will stay with me.

Hi Racheal, A huge thanks for the last 3 days-really enjoyed the training. Its something that will stay with me. I am now a follower. You were brilliant and should be proud. not only do

Chan Singh
RISE MUTUAL London

NVR is a highly regarded practice amongst clinicians and parents.

NVR is a highly regarded practice amongst clinicians and parents as per the high number of referrals we receive and the positive feedback from parents. The highest percentage of referrals is for C&YP with a

Dr Diana Alvis Palma - Consultant Family Therapist
Birmingham CAMHS

Our relationships are stronger and violence including self violence has decreased.

We approached Peter Jakob as a consultant clinical psychologist to support our residential childcare organisation. At the time we knew nothing about Non Violent Resistance (NVR). The therapeutic approach underpinning our work with young people

Kerry Shoesmith
Anderida

It’s completely changed my life and my children’s lives.

Just wanted to drop you a message to let you know how the NVR is going… It’s going exceptionally well! It’s completely changed my life and my children’s lives. I’ve been practising for almost 3

Maddie
A Parent

Get in touch!

If you have attended any of our training / workshops or used NVR in any capacity and would like to provide us with a review / testimonial we would love to hear from you. Get in touch here.

Keep up to date with NVR news & events