Testimonials

Finding PartnershipProjects and engaging in NVR has been a lifesaver and I would hate to think what our lives would have been like if I hadn’t chosen the NVR path.

Mother

There have been so many positives from this summer and it has been lovely seeing her start to relax with me and her family

I thought you would like to know how C has got on over the summer. I have been keeping a record of all the positives she has achieved.

Positives from summer 2019:-

  • We have been out numerous times
  • Calmly watched TV with me in the evenings
  • Reduction in the violence.
  • We have had conversations which she has initiated
  • Has been able to explain why she has been angry
  • Went to see counsellor with mum
  • Showering every day (it was difficult to get her to shower once a week before the holidays)
  • Staying in day clothes for the whole day (she used to stay in her pjs all day)
  • Stopped spitting
  • Helped choose presents for friends birthdays
  • Laughing with me
  • Visited new secondary school and went through worries with pastoral lead
  • Sent a message to her cousin congratulating her on her GCSEs
  • Getting hair cut. She last had it cut 14 months ago.
  • Plus many more – the list has been condensed to fit…

There have been so many positives from this summer and it has been lovely seeing her start to relax with me and her family. Thank you for all your support.

Ms W. Hampshire

Inspired and thoughtful

I have come back to work incredibly inspired and thoughtful about how to embrace this approach into my work place.

Sharon Knights Inclusion Lead
Ocklenge School.

You have given me a new language to talk about important stuff.

Thank you for a great three days. I originally had all week off to be with my three children over half term so was really disappointed the course was this week, but you have made it a wonderful, insightful and interesting week. I have loved it.

You have given me a new language to talk about important stuff. I have enjoyed your stories and insight, your calm and your kindness. Thank you,

Jo King
Walsall Training Participant

Jo King
Walsall Training Participant

NVR is a highly regarded practice amongst clinicians and parents.

NVR is a highly regarded practice amongst clinicians and parents as per the high number of referrals we receive and the positive feedback from parents. The highest percentage of referrals is for C&YP with a combination of neurodevelopmental, behavioural and attachment conditions who live in multi-stressed environments; definitely this is the therapeutic option when the C&YP do not wish to engage with the service. Positive outcomes include: improvement in the relationship between parents and C&YP, reduction of aggression between siblings, reduction and prevention of escalation, improvement of family relationships, reduction of risk behaviours and violence in the family; more engagement of extended family, parents and teachers as well as parents feeling more hopeful and confident of their own abilities.

Clinicians describe how the approach has had the effect of restoring the strengths, resources and abilities not only within families but also within and between clinicians and has mobilised difficult and challenging situations into productive direct actions.

Dr Diana Alvis Palma
Consultant Family Therapist, Birmingham CAMHS

Dr Diana Alvis Palma - Consultant Family Therapist
Birmingham CAMHS

Our relationships are stronger and violence including self violence has decreased.

We approached Peter Jakob as a consultant clinical psychologist to support our residential childcare organisation. At the time we knew nothing about Non Violent Resistance (NVR). The therapeutic approach underpinning our work with young people was and remains Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

Whilst CBT is an excellent model for helping the team to understand young people difficulties and motivations it did little for those young people who were not ready to except help. Working with young people who were entrenched in harmful and often violent patterns of behaviour, who were also rejecting our care, was painful for them and demoralising for the team.

This is where NVR really transformed our service. It gave the staff a variety of interventions underpinned by strong principles to resist violence and harmful behaviour. In recruiting the community around the young person to resist harm and reconcile, rather than attempting to control, our relationships are stronger and violence including self violence has decreased.

Through our use of NVR supported by PartnershipsProjects supervision and training, we have successfully enabled young people who’s trauma had left them feeling hopeless, worthless and angry to develop real ambition, sustain meaningful relationships and focus on a preferred future.

Kerry Shoesmith

Kerry Shoesmith
Anderida

It’s completely changed my life and my children’s lives.

Just wanted to drop you a message to let you know how the NVR is going… It’s going exceptionally well! It’s completely changed my life and my children’s lives. I’ve been practising for almost 3 months now, and the changes are very noticeable. Tom (the 10 year old) has come on enormously. He is actually able to be self-reflective about his behaviour when he does lose his temper, and explain how he could have reacted differently (this was previously unheard of – his anger was always justified, and always someone else’s fault).

He’s currently in the process of beginning to accept when he has behaved inappropriately and then make decisions about how he could possibly react in the future in a similar situation. He still occasionally kicks off, but it’s gone from daily to once every 3 or 4 weeks. He still annoys the 2 year old and his brother, but he is able to stop doing this when I raise my presence. He has started APOLOGISING when he’s done something like this and always without prompting! Literally never happened before!

Dan (the 11 year old) has just started senior school and has now taken over from Tom as being the one who acts out the most and seems hell bent on pushing Tom’s resolve and trying to get him into a physical fight. He does have a lot on his plate dealing with a big change, and clearly feels insecure about his place in the world. His behaviour has made me realise they are always – and have always been – competing with each other to either be the best child or the worst child.

I’m spending time with him in the evenings after Tom has gone to bed talking through his feelings and doing kind of ‘mini announcements’ about violence of any form being unacceptable. He is very self-aware and feels more empathy than Tom so this is working at the moment. I also whatsapp him messages of reconciliation throughout the day when he’s at school.

Amy (the 2 year old Tasmanian Devil) is now staying in bed at bed time AND sleeping through the night in her own bed. This is beyond a miracle. We negotiated an agreement where I sit in her room by the door for 5 minutes after I say good night, and then come back to check on her every 5 minutes – provided she stays in bed.

It’s changed everything and we are now both getting a lot more sleep and are consequently a lot happier. She is also trying really hard not to shout and scream about what she wants but to ask nicely, and think about how shouting upsets other people. But she’s 2 so, you know, this doesn’t always sit well with her, and she still has the occasional meltdown and makes herself sick. As I can’t even remember when the last one of these was, I think it’s safe to say she’s getting there.

I read a quotation by Haim Omar where he said Presence and Prevent Escalation are really 2 sides of the same coin. I asked a friend of mine who is a jeweller to make me a silver bracelet with a small disc on it engraved with a P on one side and PE on the other. I wear this every day and rub the disc frantically as if it’s a talisman on days when it’s all going wrong and I want to scream at them all (fortunately these days are now few and far between).

Sorry this was longer than I intended, but I just wanted to let you know the difference it has made to our lives. I even got my mother to just sit quietly and raise her presence with them instead. She loved how effective it was! Thank you for the enormous change in myself, which has brought about such a welcome change in my children and our lives.

(*names have been changed to protect identity)

Maddie
A Parent

Jill embodied the principles of NVR and modelled this throughout the training.

Jill embodied the principles of NVR and modelled this throughout the training. The video resources and discussion was thought provoking and helped me to contextualise learning to my practice.

Training Participant
Bristol

What an incredible few days together.

“What an incredible few days together – it was such a privilege listening
to the inspirational presentations from everyone. It was wonderful to spend
time together immersed in NVR thinking”.

Ruth Eden, Family and Systemic Psychotherapist.
Warwickshire County Council

“I never fail to be amazed with the inspiration and motivation gained on PartnershipProjects courses.

“I never fail to be amazed with the inspiration and motivation gained on
PartnershipProjects courses. Thank you for sharing ideas and passion with me
and for inspiring me continuously”.

 

Kim Higgins
Team Manager Warwickshire County Council

I am the go to NVR worker due to this comprehensive training program

I trained to Advanced level with PartnershipProjects & I am currently studying the Accreditation Module. Peter and Rachael have given me invaluable tools to use with families which has helped me make a lasting
impact on their lives. Within my service I am the go to NVR worker due to this comprehensive training program. It has furthered my desire to use NVR within my everyday practise.

Peer learning and seeing how others implement NVR within different service settings is a wonderful experience. Mixing with like-minded NVR professionals brings learning to life.

 

Oliver Nash
; Family Worker; Family Solutions; Essex County Council

Your training style was very engaging, and you had a lot of patience with the group.

Hi, this is Caroline from the training. Wanted to feedback that it was fantastic training, I feel inspired to change my own parenting as well as empowering other adoptive parents to develop their own NV presence with their children. Spent last night talking to my husband about what I learnt and how we can develop our parenting. Your training style was very engaging, and you had a lot of patience with the group. I don’t see how anyone couldn’t agree with the NVR approach.

Thank you again.

 

Caroline Stirk - Adoption Social Worker

The course was brilliant

The course was brilliant thank you – we all absolutely love it, learnt so much and have come back to work feeling all inspired!
Best wishes.

Ruth Eden
Family & Systemic Psychotherapist

I have come back to work incredibly inspired and thoughtful about how to embrace this approach into my work place.

Sharon Knights
Inclusion Lead, Ocklenge School

NVR training’s have been crucial stepping stones towards the implementation of NVR in Birmingham CAMHS.

Dr Diana Alvis Palma
Consultant Family Therapist Birmingham CAMHS

Anonymous, Netherlands

I wanted to thank you for the two days of training in the Netherlands.

Anonymous
Netherlands

I wanted to thank you for the two days of training in the Netherlands

Dear Peter,

I wanted to thank you for the training in the Netherlands. It helped me a lot, because for awhile I was doubting myself in my work with families and parents.

I work in a new organisation where I started in the summer of last year. And for a large part I had to start all over in ‘explaining’ what NVR stands for and how I use it in my work. This, sometimes is quite a difficult journey, I meet people who look at different ways to the problems of children and their partners, not always in a bad way, but different to how I look at it.

NVR and your training helped me to find the words again to start a dialog and show another side of the story. A story of strength, standing your ground and seeing the possibilities in a person, whether its the child or the parent. In your training I had moments where I thought “ok, I’m on the right track, just keep on going”. So thank you for that.

Anonymous, Netherlands.

Anonymous, Netherlands

NVR training’s have been crucial stepping stones.

The NVR training’s (2013 and 2015) have been crucial stepping stones towards the implementation of NVR in Birmingham CAMHS. The training addressed with rigour core NVR concepts and engaged the audience in a dynamic and participative learning context by using role plays, storytelling, case discussions, modelling and reflection. Participants were frequently invited to make connections between the NVR principles and their own professional experiences and organisational contexts with plenty of opportunities to practice the NVR techniques.

The workshop days were rigorous, refreshing and enjoyable; furthermore, they invited reflection about and challenge of more traditional ways of engaging with parents and networks, all well supported by evidence for the effectiveness of NVR in clinical practice. The workshops about trauma focused and child focused NVR offered rich therapeutic tools for working with multi-stressed families, essential for CAMHS workers. Following the first training a supervision structure was created that is successfully supporting the delivering of NVR in the service.

Dr Diana Alvis Palma
Consultant Family Therapist, Birmingham CAMHS

Dr Diana Alvis Palma Consultant Family Therapist
Birmingham CAMHS

This is having a positive impact on outcomes

Having commissioned PartnershipProjects to undertake NVR training with our staff, we are now in a position to offer NVR groups to our parents where violence within the family is having a huge impact on family relationships. We are also providing individual support to parents using NVR techniques, this is having a positive impact on outcomes for families and as we have involved other key agencies in the training and setting up a supervision group the interest in NVR is growing as commissioners are becoming aware of the benefits to families.

Elaine Simpson
Action for Children

Elaine Simpson
Action for Children

Really enjoyed the training. Its something that will stay with me.

Hi Racheal, A huge thanks for the last 3 days-really enjoyed the training. Its something that will stay with me. I am now a follower. You were brilliant and should be proud. not only do you have great hair but you are a true NVR professional and a fantastic trainer. Hopefully see you for the final day in May.

Chan Singh

RISE MUTUAL London

Chan Singh
RISE MUTUAL London

You have given me a new language to talk about important stuff.

Thank you for a great three days. I originally had all week off to be with my three children over half term so was really disappointed the course was this week, but you have made it a wonderful, insightful and interesting week. I have loved it.

You have given me a new language to talk about important stuff. I have enjoyed your stories and insight, your calm and your kindness. Thank you,

Jo King
Walsall Training Participant

Jo King
Walsall Training Participant