There have been so many positives from this summer and it has been lovely seeing her start to relax with me and her family

by irenesoler | September 17, 2019

I thought you would like to know how C has got on over the summer. I have been keeping a record of all the positives she has achieved.

Positives from summer 2019:-

We have been out numerous times
Calmly watched TV with me in the evenings
Reduction in the violence.
We have had conversations which she has initiated
Has been able to explain why she has been angry
Went to see counsellor with mum
Showering every day (it was difficult to get her to shower once a week before the holidays)
Staying in day clothes for the whole day (she used to stay in her pjs all day)
Stopped spitting
Helped choose presents for friends birthdays
Laughing with me
Visited new secondary school and went through worries with pastoral lead
Sent a message to her cousin congratulating her on her GCSEs
Getting hair cut. She last had it cut 14 months ago.
Plus many more – the list has been condensed to fit…

There have been so many positives from this summer and it has been lovely seeing her start to relax with me and her family. Thank you for all your support.

BLOG DISCLAIMER

This blog provides general information and discussions about NVR and related subjects. The information and other content provided in this blog, or in any linked materials, are not intended and should not be construed as professional advice, nor is the information a substitute for professional expertise or treatment. If you or any other person has a concern, you should consult with a professional NVR advisor. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something that you have read on this blog or in any linked materials.

The opinions and views expressed on this blog are those of the blog post author and have no relation to those of any academic, health practice or other institution, including those of PartnershipProjects UK Ltd.

Keep up to date with NVR news & events

TESTIMONIALS

Incredible how much NVR has changed our lives!

It has been such a journey for us working with Julie and I do find it incredible how much our lives have changed over that time because of NVR. We were in a very dark

…

from an NVR Mum

Reframed my thinking as a practitioner

Really engaging Trainers. The way they reframed my thinking as a practitioner, steering me away from the conventional child-centred thinking and more toward empowering the parent as a way to encourage/create a behaviour shifts in

…

Participant, NVR Foundation Level

Saying thank you just doesn’t seem enough

Firstly, I just wanted to put in an email what I said today. Saying thank you just doesn’t seem enough. I don’t know if you will ever understand just how much you have helped and

…

from an NVR Mum

Incredibly useful

It has all been incredibly useful and very interesting. I was apprehensive about it being on zoom for three days – but it hasn’t affected the quality of training atRead more “Incredibly useful”

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Excellent Training

Gentle reflective pace, warmth, humanity and humility of presenters. Clear but not prescriptive explanation of the model. Excellent training. Thankyou. I just want my whole team to do the trainingRead more “Excellent Training”

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

I enjoyed all of it

To be honest all of it. I like the structure in terms of setting up a routine for breaks and lunch and the interactive style, especially getting to practice aspects such as silence, sit-ins, etc.

…

I really liked

Hearing clinical examples of how the techniques had been applied with parents the facilitators had worked with, including examples where it had been more tricky or difficult, or taken more time for the parent to

…

I really liked

I liked the pairs/ threes break out groups rather than always a bigger break out group. I liked the time taken to explain the principles and values of theRead more “I really liked”

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

It was well paced and inclusive.

It was well paced and inclusive. trainers were very knowledgeable and experienced and had a warm approach. First time i have felt comfortable doing a roleRead more “It was well paced and inclusive.”

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Really excellent course.

Read more “Really excellent course.”

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

I really enjoyed

I really enjoyed this training and i feel i will be able to share my knowledgeRead more “I really enjoyed”

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Loved the three days

Loved the three days. The pace was fantastic and so well pitched. Excellent, knowledgeable and engaging trainers. Plenty of tools added to my practiceRead more “Loved the three days”

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Thank you very much

Thank you very much, I very much would like to proceed with the course programme and different trainings offeredRead more “Thank you very much”

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

The trainers were really knowledgeable and engaging

The trainers were really knowledgeable and engaging. Had personal and professional experience that was really helpful. Although the role play and break out rooms felt a bit awkward at first the trainers allowed relationships and

…

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Useful and informative

Thank you very much. A really useful and informative training. Definitely lots I can take away to use in my practice, and the experiential tasks have made me feel more confident in doingRead more “Useful and informative”

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Really enjoyed

I have really enjoyed the course and I have learned so much from others on the course. The tutors were knowledgable , friendly and I look forward to moreRead more “Really enjoyed”

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Amazing

I think it has been amazing and I can’t wait to put it intoRead more “Amazing”

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

Really enjoyed

Really enjoyed the three days and excited about trying some NVRRead more “Really enjoyed”

Participant, Online NVR Foundation Level

A brilliant two days!

Thank you for this great space to hear from like minded and knowledgeable people :)

Participant, Advanced Level NVR Training

Love NVR and PP’s incredible trainers

Participant, Advanced Level NVR Training

Rachael, Jackie and Michele are all brilliant practitioners

This is a really good group. It has such an impact on the quality of the learning and I fell very lucky to be with such open, friendly, generous people. Rachael, Jackie and Michele are

…

Participant, Advanced Level NVR Training

Incredible and stood out

I found that this training was so incredible and stood out as having the capacity to make the learning accessible to all different type of learning styles, giving people the opportunity to read, to practice,

…

Read more “Incredible and stood out”

Participant, Advanced Level NVR Training

Many thanks again for the course

I have felt much more relaxed in my parenting and feel like I am slowly able to find again that sense of being the mum I would like to be. That is precious toRead more “Many thanks again for the course”

Leeds Parent, Online Parent Seminar Participant

It was fantastic – the best training I’ve been on.

Trainers were knowledgeable and the ability to help us think reflectively was fantastic. So relevant. Well delivered. I’ve never done role play in such a connective way.Read more “It was fantastic – the best training I’ve been on.”

Training Participant - Foundation Level

Leeds 2020

Finding PartnershipProjects and engaging in NVR has been a lifesaver and I would hate to think what our lives would have been like if I hadn’t chosen the NVR path.

Mother

What an incredible few days together.

“What an incredible few days together – it was such a privilege listening to the inspirational presentations from everyone. It was wonderful to spend time together immersed in NVRRead more “What an incredible few days together.”

Ruth Eden, Family and Systemic Psychotherapist.

Warwickshire County Council

“I never fail to be amazed with the inspiration and motivation gained on PartnershipProjects courses.

“I never fail to be amazed with the inspiration and motivation gained on PartnershipProjects courses. Thank you for sharing ideas and passion with me and for inspiring me continuously”.Read more ““I never fail to be amazed with the inspiration and motivation gained on PartnershipProjects courses.”

Kim Higgins

Team Manager Warwickshire County Council

I am the go to NVR worker due to this comprehensive training program

Oliver Nash

; Family Worker; Family Solutions; Essex County Council

Your training style was very engaging, and you had a lot of patience with the group.

Hi, this is Caroline from the training. Wanted to feedback that it was fantastic training, I feel inspired to change my own parenting as well as empowering other adoptive parents to develop their own NV

…

Caroline Stirk - Adoption Social Worker

Adoption Focus

The course was brilliant

The course was brilliant thank you – we all absolutely love it, learnt so much and have come back to work feeling all inspired! BestRead more “The course was brilliant”

Ruth Eden

Family & Systemic Psychotherapist

I have come back to work incredibly inspired and thoughtful about how to embrace this approach into my work place.

Sharon Knights

Inclusion Lead, Ocklenge School

NVR training’s have been crucial stepping stones towards the implementation of NVR in Birmingham CAMHS.

Dr Diana Alvis Palma

Consultant Family Therapist Birmingham CAMHS

Anonymous, Netherlands

I wanted to thank you for the two days of training in theRead more “Anonymous, Netherlands”

Anonymous

Netherlands

Really enjoyed the training. Its something that will stay with me.

Hi Racheal, A huge thanks for the last 3 days-really enjoyed the training. Its something that will stay with me. I am now a follower. You were brilliant and should be proud. not only do

…

Chan Singh

RISE MUTUAL London

NVR is a highly regarded practice amongst clinicians and parents.

NVR is a highly regarded practice amongst clinicians and parents as per the high number of referrals we receive and the positive feedback from parents. The highest percentage of referrals is for C&YP with a

…

Dr Diana Alvis Palma - Consultant Family Therapist

Birmingham CAMHS

Our relationships are stronger and violence including self violence has decreased.

We approached Peter Jakob as a consultant clinical psychologist to support our residential childcare organisation. At the time we knew nothing about Non Violent Resistance (NVR). The therapeutic approach underpinning our work with young people

…

Kerry Shoesmith

Anderida

It’s completely changed my life and my children’s lives.

…

Just wanted to drop you a message to let you know how the NVR is going… It’s going exceptionally well! It’s completely changed my life and my children’s lives. I’ve been practising for almost 3 months now, and the changes are very noticeable. Tom (the 10 year old) has come on enormously. He is actually able to be self-reflective about his behaviour when he does lose his temper, and explain how he could have reacted differently (this was previously unheard of – his anger was always justified, and always someone else’s fault).
He’s currently in the process of beginning to accept when he has behaved inappropriately and then make decisions about how he could possibly react in the future in a similar situation. He still occasionally kicks off, but it’s gone from daily to once every 3 or 4 weeks. He still annoys the 2 year old and his brother, but he is able to stop doing this when I raise my presence. He has started APOLOGISING when he’s done something like this and always without prompting! Literally never happened before!
Dan (the 11 year old) has just started senior school and has now taken over from Tom as being the one who acts out the most and seems hell bent on pushing Tom’s resolve and trying to get him into a physical fight. He does have a lot on his plate dealing with a big change, and clearly feels insecure about his place in the world. His behaviour has made me realise they are always – and have always been – competing with each other to either be the best child or the worst child.
I’m spending time with him in the evenings after Tom has gone to bed talking through his feelings and doing kind of ‘mini announcements’ about violence of any form being unacceptable. He is very self-aware and feels more empathy than Tom so this is working at the moment. I also whatsapp him messages of reconciliation throughout the day when he’s at school.
Amy (the 2 year old Tasmanian Devil) is now staying in bed at bed time AND sleeping through the night in her own bed. This is beyond a miracle. We negotiated an agreement where I sit in her room by the door for 5 minutes after I say good night, and then come back to check on her every 5 minutes – provided she stays in bed.
It’s changed everything and we are now both getting a lot more sleep and are consequently a lot happier. She is also trying really hard not to shout and scream about what she wants but to ask nicely, and think about how shouting upsets other people. But she’s 2 so, you know, this doesn’t always sit well with her, and she still has the occasional meltdown and makes herself sick. As I can’t even remember when the last one of these was, I think it’s safe to say she’s getting there.
I read a quotation by Haim Omar where he said Presence and Prevent Escalation are really 2 sides of the same coin. I asked a friend of mine who is a jeweller to make me a silver bracelet with a small disc on it engraved with a P on one side and PE on the other. I wear this every day and rub the disc frantically as if it’s a talisman on days when it’s all going wrong and I want to scream at them all (fortunately these days are now few and far between).
Sorry this was longer than I intended, but I just wanted to let you know the difference it has made to our lives. I even got my mother to just sit quietly and raise her presence with them instead. She loved how effective it was! Thank you for the enormous change in myself, which has brought about such a welcome change in my children and our lives.
(*names have been changed to protect identity)

Maddie

A Parent