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Bullying and self-harm

Bullying and self-harm

Today’s news: A quarter of all 14 year old girls self-harm. In the media, this is treated as a mental health problem. A young woman is interviewed. She cut herself for five years. There is a conversation about the lack of availability of counselling services at school, which may have helped her process the difficult kind of emotions she felt so alone with. Her mother shares the sense of helplessness she felt, her self- doubt and self-blame, the question she asked herself: “Have I been a bad parent?”.

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How can we change the world, without changing ourselves?’ Rolando Toro.

How can we change the world, without changing ourselves?’ Rolando Toro.

I would like to tell you about a recent hobby of mine and how the experiences in the group have resonated for me very deeply with my therapeutic practice and in particular NVR. Over the past 6 months I have been attending weekly Biodanza classes here in Cardiff. Most people in the UK have not heard of this wonderful dance-based system. Antoinette Lorraine, our inspirational teacher, writes on the website Biodanza 4UK: The Magnificent Art of Living’:

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Isn’t it (NVR) for life?

Isn’t it (NVR) for life?

NVR is an approach that changes parents’ and caregivers’ perception of their child, and helps them challenge their own underlying beliefs. With these changes comes a deep sense of connection between parent and child. The parents recognised how NVR had hugely helped them to keep him safe, and having a practitioner with whom to share his progress and challenges meant they were not alone. This loneliness can leave parents feeling vulnerable.

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I did a bit of an intervention.

I did a bit of an intervention.

My mother stated, “You know, I did a bit of an intervention, earlier this week. With some of your stuff in it.” I immediately understood that, by saying ‘stuff’, my mother meant Non Violent Resistance.

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Working on Parental Presence.

Working on Parental Presence.

I have recently had the privilege of starting to work with a parent whose child has been looked after by the local authority for the past two years. My work is helping the parent develop a new relationship between father and his son. This parent, let’s call him John, was in his twenties when his second son was born, At that time John was fully committed to his drug and alcohol addiction

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5th International NVR Conference 2018 Israel Tel Aviv.

5th International NVR Conference 2018 Israel Tel Aviv.

It was a privilege to attend this conference and to be a part of 3 amazing days listening to the most influential people in NVR. The conference was opened by Haim Omer, who also gave a keynote speech and workshops alongside Nahi Alon, another clinical psychologist.
To sit alongside such a wealth of experts in this field, such skilled and reputable practitioners who have developed strands of the approach in their own way,

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Overcoming erasure can mean ‘letting go’.

Overcoming erasure can mean ‘letting go’.

Chris Holmquist works with adoptive families, in which young people who have suffered early childhood adversity develop behaviours that are harmful to others and to themselves. He told me this story about William Penn who was a Quaker and the founder of Pennsylvania. Quakers have played an important role in the history of the United States

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A barking cough in the bathroom

A barking cough in the bathroom

Sometimes, parents no longer experience themselves as being important for their children and don’t feel competent anymore to take care of them. This can cause a downward spiral, where the idea of a brighter family future seems remote. In this post, I will address how parents and their children can co-develop a fatalistic outlook on the future. Using a case example, I will try to illustrate how professionals can support parents to separate their own outlook from that of their children once again.

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