The Couple Relationship: Through the Lens of NVR

The Couple Relationship: Through the Lens of NVR
Train with the leading & award-winning provider of Non-Violent Resistance Training for Professionals
Next Workshop: Monday 19th January 2026
Join our exclusive half-day online workshop with Shila Desai, and Vasiliki Loumpa – ‘The Couple Relationship: Through the Lens of NVR’
The workshop will be brought to you LIVE online via Zoom on Monday 19th January, and is open to NVR Professionals.
This training is also available privately in-house, contact us for prices for your team. Email: training@partnershipprojectsuk.com.
About the Workshop
Attending to the couple relationship and the emotional attachment to one another is an essential component that is not often explored within the NVR field. When there are significant harm and destructive behaviours in the family from the child to others, each of the adults will witness the escalatory responses of their partner. When these responses do not align with what attracted them to each other, it can lead to distancing and criticism towards each other. This erodes their ability to put NVR principles in practice.
This workshop seeks to highlight the significance of the emotional security within the couple and how this influences the capacity for co-resistance. We will explore ideas from Systemic Psychotherapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy and how they fit in with NVR practice. We will discuss the importance of having a secure attachment within the couple as a factor for strengthening their ability to practice NVR and taking on acts of resistance.
We would propose that principles of emotional safety between the couple are essential when managing harmful behaviours from their child and the impact on the whole family.
Learning Outcomes:
We will discuss some ideas and practices from NVR, systemic therapy and emotionally focused therapy that aim to:
- To seek permission to attend to the couple relationship and to help them realign with one another so that they can be more courageous together.
- To bring awareness to each adult, both as people, partners and parents, to become aware of their own emotional experiences and how this affects escalations and direct actions.
- To help each partner validate these fears and emotions and to deeply understand what is happening in themselves and their partner, which can then help them to connect with one another, with the focused child and as a family.
- To define the courage of connection and reconciliation as resistance to harm and oppression within or outside of the family home.
We will provide examples of NVR cases, where emotional attachment was not attended to and then practices where intentional exploration of the couple relationship occurred. The workshop will include skills practices to enable participants to grow confidence in attending to aspects of the couple relationship within their NVR work.


Statistics:
Research has shown the vast majority of relationships change after having a baby. A 2021 study from the University of Born showed that, on average, relationship satisfaction fluctuates over time – and declines during the first 10 years of being together – whether couples are parents or not.
It shouldn’t be surprising that parenthood presents challenges to a partnership. For the vast majority of couples, what psychologists call “protective” relationship factors – such as communication, intimacy and time together – take a hit when a baby is born. Throw in stressors including sleep deprivation and financial anxiety, and it often can seem impossible for a couple to avoid more conflict or tension after having a child.
According to the Wall Street Journal article, “Here Comes the Baby, There Goes the Marriage” approximately two-thirds of couples see the quality of their relationship plummet within three years of the birth of a child—with mother’s’ dissatisfaction leading the way, and more women filing for divorce than men. Within five years after the birth of a first child, over 40 percent percent of couples will go their separate ways. Some studies report marriages failing within 18 months after the first child is born.
Couples are painfully unprepared for the demands of parenting; in fact, parenthood may be a frequent cause of separations, divorces, and failed relationships. (See “Top Ten Parenting Mistakes.”)
Parents of adults with developmental disabilities were more likely than other parents to have been divorced or widowed, and then remarried.
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Meet Shila Desai and Vasiliki Loumpa

Shila Desai
Family and Systemic Psychotherapist / Supervisor
Senior Clinician & Trainer
NVR Association (NVRA) Accredited Practitioner and Supervisor
Trained in Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE)
Shila was originally trained as a Social Worker and later as a Family and Systemic Psychotherapist and Supervisor, and has over 30 years’ experience. She has worked extensively as a clinician, supervisor and trainer across looked-after services for children and families and in community and inpatient settings across CAMHS and adult mental health. Shila has a lifelong interest in learning and educating and has contributed as a trainer for many years, both with PartnershipProjects UK and with Birmingham Systemic Training. She is passionate about connections and hope in relationships and has learnt from both her professional and personal life what it means to keep going and to speak out. Shila is currently also working as a Consultant Family and Systemic Psychotherapist in Perinatal Services in Birmingham, where she leads on family therapy and couple interventions across the city, where she has introduced NVR principles. Shila has also been involved in bringing NVR ideas into the field of Eating Disorders (ED) with colleagues within the field through her training, supervision and writing.
“One of the things I am interested in is how we hold onto what is dear in our hearts, that helps us thrive and love such as family, arts, nature, our relationships, and also how we overcome hurt, pain, suffering and that these are dual aspects of life itself. It is in this interface that we can draw on the principles of NVR that act as a guiding light. That is how I see NVR and all its wonderful methods, that we are not alone, that we do not impose, that we sit-with and resist and in the silent presence things emerge and grow, like the offerings from the great oak tree, or the touch of the sun rays”

Vasiliki Loumpa
Highly Specialist Family & Systemic Psychotherapist / Systemic Supervisor
NVR Association (NVRA) Accredited Practitioner and Supervisor
Vasiliki is a Social Worker, Systemic Psychotherapist and Systemic Supervisor with extensive experience in the fields of mental health, eating disorders and addictions. She has worked in community and inpatient services with adults, children, adolescents and families.
Vasiliki has lived and worked in Greece, Denmark, Ireland and the UK and is particularly interested in how culture and language affect the experiences of individuals and families.
Her experience using the Non-Violent Resistance approach within inpatient CAMHS, sparked her passion for NVR with groups and communities, including residential / inpatient settings, as well as NVR and mental health.
Vasiliki is currently in independent practice. Additionally, she works as a Trainer and Supervisor with PartnershipProjects and the Greek Network for Non-Violent Resistance. Vasiliki also provides couples therapy. She combines her love for NVR with Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.
Important Workshop Information
How much does it cost?
Early Bird Tickets (save 15%): £75+VAT*
Full Price: £89+VAT
Groups Discounts:
Save 10% for groups of 10 or more,
or save 15% for groups of 20 or more.
OR book privately in-house for your team, email: training@partnershipprojectsuk.com for more info.
When & Where?
When:
Monday 19th January 2026, 9:30am to 1:30pm
(with plenty of breaks)
Where:
Hosted LIVE online via Zoom Pro
The full training agenda for the day will be sent ahead of the day
Who Can Attend?
The workshop is open to practitioners in CAMHS, mental health, social care, education, youth justice and the independent sector, who already have an understanding of the core principles of NVR.
Also available for Group Bookings, contact us today for a free no-obligation consultation & quote.
Email: training@partnershipprojectsuk.com
Why train with us?

Established in 2006
The first & foremost specialist provider of NVR training & workshops, supervision, and interventions & coaching in the UK

The leading provider in the UK
We've trained more professionals, & supported more families than any other provider

Highly Qualified Trainers & Coaches
Our team hold the highest NVR qualifications available, along with many years’ experience & specialist knowledge

Award Winning
Winners of several prestigious awards such as 'Training Provider of the Year' 2025, and ‘Best NVR Training & Intervention Provider 2025 – UK’

Giving Back to the Community
We give our time with our special interest groups, offer pro-bono work where we can, and donate to relevant charities

Over 1000 Professionals trained each year
Over the last 3 years we have trained over 3000 people

Over 100 families supported each year
Each year we offer individual coaching & group sessions for over 100 families

4.8 Star Average Rating
Amazing feedback and the highest scores for our NVR training

Our company is certified
We are registered with; CPD, Independent Safeguarding CIC, NVR Association (NVRA)

Global Reach
Although we are predominantly in the UK, we have a worldwide reputation with students in many countries around the world
**References, BBC, Psychology Today, PMC
Confidentiality
PartnershipProjects UK (PP) adheres to its confidentiality obligations at all times.
PP encourages all professionals (who may be undertaking any level of NVR training, accessing NVR individual or group supervision, submitting their coursework or attending PP’s accreditation module) be bound by their professional registrations or their service/local authority/organisation policies of confidential working practices.
In all cases, professionals will anonymise any family/parent references, in all cases change genders/ages/status’s when referring to case work examples in training/supervision etc.
Professionals who wish to share families personal information (names/gender etc) in their individual or group NVR supervision must be transparent and inform the families/parents/caregivers before sharing. In this circumstance, professionals must have formal written consent/permission from families/parents/caregivers to use their examples in this way.
Any information shared to PP, will be treated in line with current GDPR guidelines as per our Data Protection Policy which can be found on the following link; https://www.