Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) is an empowering, relationship-focused approach to working with young people, particularly those displaying challenging behaviours. Originally developed for parents and carers, NVR has found a powerful place within residential childcare settings. But one element often overlooked is self-care — not just for the young people, but for the carers, social workers, educators, and families forming the wider support network.
In high-pressure environments like residential childcare, where emotional demands are constant, applying NVR without a foundation of self-care can feel almost impossible. Without tending to our own emotional needs, our capacity to stay calm, connected, and resilient is compromised. So how do we truly weave self-care into the practice of NVR for everyone involved?
Self-Care for Ourselves as Practitioners
First and foremost, practitioners must acknowledge that self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s an ethical responsibility. If we are burned out or emotionally dysregulated, we are less able to offer the presence and persistence that NVR requires.
Simple but powerful practices can help. Regular reflective supervision, mindfulness exercises, and peer support groups create spaces for emotional processing. Setting clear professional boundaries, taking breaks when needed, and accessing professional therapy or coaching also build resilience. Embedding self-care into the working culture — rather than viewing it as an individual task — reinforces the message that our wellbeing is vital to the young people’s wellbeing.
Supporting Young People Through Self-Care
One of NVR’s core ideas is that young people often display control-seeking or destructive behaviour because they feel powerless or overwhelmed. Teaching and modelling self-care empowers them to find healthier ways to manage their emotions.
In practical terms, this might mean working with young people to co-create plans for moments of crisis, offering sensory or movement-based activities to reduce stress, and creating spaces where asking for help is normalised rather than stigmatised. By showing young people that adults also practice self-care — openly and without shame — we invite them to see self-regulation not as a weakness but as a strength.
Extending Self-Care to Families and Wider Networks
NVR also asks us to “recruit supporters” — to create a network around a young person that holds steady, even in the face of intense challenges. But this network also needs nurturing.
Families, social workers, and educators must be supported to maintain their emotional stamina. This could include offering regular training on NVR principles, creating safe spaces for families to share experiences without judgment, and ensuring that communication between all parties is transparent and compassionate. Encouraging network members to set their own boundaries, celebrate small wins, and access their own emotional support is crucial.
When we extend self-care practices across the entire support network, we model collaboration rather than isolation, strength rather than struggle.
Conclusion
In residential childcare, applying Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) without prioritising self-care would not be effective. By weaving self-care into every layer of the practice — for ourselves, for the young people, and for the wider community — we create not just safer environments, but stronger, more resilient relationships. And ultimately, this is where real, lasting change begins.
Written by Lucy Wright,
Cherry Lane Therapeutic Homes
Home Manager – Ebba’s House
NVR Association (NVRA) Accredited Practitioner
Accreditation Module Participant, 2024
Practising self-care? Have you tried journaling? The NVR Journal has been carefully curated with you in mind:
