I qualified as a Mental Health Nurse in 1997, initially working in an acute adult mental health ward, then in a crisis team until the opportunity came to move into CAMHS on a development post. This is where my passion for working with families and parents began, which eventually led to completing my family therapy training. I am now a full-time family therapist in CAMHS.
I completed my NVR Foundation / Advanced Level training in 2020 during the COVID lockdown. I have since completed my Certificate Level 2, NVR-informed Supervisor Training, and the Accreditation Module (Level 3). NVR is a philosophy and an approach which makes sense to me because it is systemic and speaks of courage and resistance. I didn’t realise back then how important this approach would become and how it is woven into all aspects of my life.
I started by practising NVR ideas with parents, following the manual closely and saw how effective it was in reducing risk, arguments and escalations whilst helping parents reconnect to their children and grow in confidence. In the beginning, self-care was something I would introduce to parents much later in sessions. However, there was a turning point in April 2021, just before my 50th birthday, where I took a period of sickness from work because I felt like I couldn’t cope with the demands and emotional toil it was taking on my health. This was the first time in my NHS career that I had taken time off. I guess I’ve learnt that everyone has a threshold point, no matter how resilient.
My relationship to self-care and prioritising the ‘care of myself’ became front and central. In turn, this became front and central in my conversations with parents who were in a state of erasure. I noticed that as I was focusing on my own self-care, I was having conversations with parents about their self-care and seeing how this impacted their parenting relationship.
In April 2022, I moved to a different NHS Trust, where my current family therapy role includes service development and the supervision/training of others. I was asked to review the clinical pathways (trauma and attachment) to include NVR as a ‘getting help’ evidence-based approach, so that funding could be secured for colleagues to be trained in NVR. A little under 4 years, and there has been significant progress achieved. NVR is growing across the CAMHS service, with the Intensive Support Hub (ISH) having most of its team trained in NVR, and now the Core CAMHS Team starting their training next year.
In my experience, change doesn’t happen quickly in the NHS, so persistence and the ability to keep going are key. I like the words of Karen Wolrond in ‘The Lightmaker’s Manifesto’ who says, ‘We don’t have to be perfect – just engaged and committed to aligning our values with our actions. I’m here to get it right, not to be right‘.
Written by Sally Bowen,
Family Therapist
NVR Association (NVRA) Accredited Practitioner
Accreditation Module Participant, 2025
Practising self-care? Have you tried journaling? The NVR Journal has been carefully created with you in mind:
