My mother stated, “You know, I did a bit of an intervention, earlier this week. With some of your stuff in it.” I immediately understood that, by saying ‘stuff’, my mother meant Non Violent Resistance.read more
I have recently had the privilege of starting to work with a parent whose child has been looked after by the local authority for the past two years. My work is helping the parent develop a new relationship between father and his son. This parent, let’s call him John, was in his twenties when his second son was born, At that time John was fully committed to his drug and alcohol addictionread more
It was a privilege to attend this conference and to be a part of 3 amazing days listening to the most influential people in NVR. The conference was opened by Haim Omer, who also gave a keynote speech and workshops alongside Nahi Alon, another clinical psychologist.
To sit alongside such a wealth of experts in this field, such skilled and reputable practitioners who have developed strands of the approach in their own way,
Chris Holmquist works with adoptive families, in which young people who have suffered early childhood adversity develop behaviours that are harmful to others and to themselves. He told me this story about William Penn who was a Quaker and the founder of Pennsylvania. Quakers have played an important role in the history of the United Statesread more
Sometimes, parents no longer experience themselves as being important for their children and don’t feel competent anymore to take care of them. This can cause a downward spiral, where the idea of a brighter family future seems remote. In this post, I will address how parents and their children can co-develop a fatalistic outlook on the future. Using a case example, I will try to illustrate how professionals can support parents to separate their own outlook from that of their children once again.read more
A few months ago, I was asked by an NVR trainee to discuss my thoughts about supervision in NVR to contribute to some research on supervision he was undertaking. I thought it would be interesting to share my responses with you here. Here are his supervision questions, along with my responses.read more
This morning i woke up remembering her black eye from 45 years ago. The memory still haunts me. We were hippies then; she had invited my friend Bernard and me to stay overnight in her boyfriend’s barn. He was a hippie too; he made jewellery for a living, and we thought he was a cool guy. Being a hippie back then was all about peace and love and nonviolence.read more
By Michaela Fried with commentary by Peter Jakob.
My friend and colleague Ahmed died two days ago, torn from the middle of his life, out of the middle of his family in Gaza. With the event of an invitation to deliver a keynote speech in May, by our friends and colleagues in Israel, I had asked him to write a brief bio, no longer that 100 Words, and I asked him whether that was even possible, given his rich and varied life. Ahmed smiled and replied in that modest manner of his that it would not be difficult to do that – there wasn’t that much to say about him anyway.
The families I work with never cease to amaze me – their strength, their determination, their stamina in keeping their child safe. Recently, a mother shared with me some amazing practice in NVR which demonstrated her parental presence and her pledge to continue on her path to resist her son’s aggression and controlling behaviours.read more
I have found over time that the NVR approach has not only influenced me personally in many ways but has had a profound effect in my own family life. I am particularly taken with the ideas of using supporters, unifying, being ‘disobedient’ to the attempts of others to control you and of reclaiming personal power and agency. Understanding that my co-operation and obedience is required in order for the oppressive practices of others to be legitimised is a powerful realisation.read more